No looking back

For me there’s no looking back. I don’t think I would ever want to re-live the past, and I’m going to try to explain why. We should set up some ground rules for this experience. There are at least two possible scenarios.

Immutable timeline

In the first one, there is no possibility of changing anything in what already happened. It is pretty much like watching a movie or reading a book, I can’t change the story. It is there, it is set in stone. What would be the gain in it? I am doing it only for the pleasure of living that again in the exact same way. For that I often remember it with love without needing to pass through it all. Besides, I don’t think there is an age that was so perfect and blissful for me to live it again. I don’t think I wanted to do that this way.

Mutable timeline

In the second scenario, the decisions that I make can be different from the first time. I know that this can lead to unforeseen consequences, good or bad. But even having this opportunity I don’t think I would take it. I don’t have big regrets in life. I have been slow to have taken some big decisions, but I have ended up doing them. And I am pretty much happy with how things have turned out. I don’t really want to change them, apart from the normal course of life from now on.

To conclude, don’t get me wrong, even not being perfect, there are several episodes of my life that I cherish. I have people that I love and have passed away. I’d love an opportunity to see them again. But I keep those moments in my heart and re-live them with my mind. There’s no looking back. That is good enough for me.